Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
