I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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