My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
