it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
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Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
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I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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