her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
