I murdered the dance floor call the cops
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize