Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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