i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize