my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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