It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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