He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
