But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
