Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
