Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
