you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
