Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
