so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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