he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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