i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
