so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
