The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
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