I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she pinky promised me she was 18
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
