Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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