Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My penis needs a shock collar
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize