No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
