the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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