Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
