i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
