I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
