i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
