just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
