It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
