I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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