I just saw a hot homeless man
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
