so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
