i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The uberlube is also flammable
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
