doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
