bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
