I accidentally burped into my bong.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
