haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Is Oprah even human
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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