Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
