It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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