they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
