He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
