i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
40s are totally the cure
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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