i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
