could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
