shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
