Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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