sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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