Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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