Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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