Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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