you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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