I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize