Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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