Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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