they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
