I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
