Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
