Where did you get a picture of my penis
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
