I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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