what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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