Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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