We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize