susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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