sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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