He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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