im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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