I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
This house was built for laser tag.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
